I hope you don't mind a bit of an interruption among the makeup posts. I really felt compelled to thank everyone who has been supportive of this little blog.
I used to be kind of a "don't set your expectations too high" kind of person. Disappointment is an awful feeling, and I think after having experienced enough of it—whether in big ways, like being disappointed by your loved ones, or in very petty ways like a vacation not living up to the months of excitement you had for it—you kind of start to adopt the mentality of "if you look forward to it too much or put too much faith in something, it will never live up."
Saying it out loud, it makes me cringe because, honestly, what an awful energy to carry around in your life. All it does is create a habit of expecting negativity, and that's not an outlook on life anyone should subscribe to.
I feel like I was finally able to recognize that trait about myself, and awhile back, I decided to have this bracelet custom-made for me on Etsy (God bless Esty!) to help remind myself that if I put out good energy, good things will come back to me. It's just a little token, but it helps me remember that, even though I'm just your average, run-of-the-mill sinner, God wants good things for me, and I just have to be brave enough to ask for them.
(Quick insert to apologize if I'm sounding corny—corn is what my husband does for a living, so I'm gonna play the "it just kind of rubbed off on me" card).
One more contributing story to my little saga (I promise it's relevant!):
About two years ago, I started seeing the number 444 EVERYWHERE! License plates, phone call times, exit signs, prices—it started to really creep me out to be honest. I feel like I get a little hypersensitive to signs ever since one of my best friends passed away, constantly thinking "well maybe that was a sign" when, in reality, God's probably sitting there like, "Nope, Jessi; just a raccoon," but this time I knew I wasn't making it up because I didn't WANT to see it, and I had no idea what it could even mean.
The nail in the coffin was when I got a phone call about a long-dormant bank account that I had only opened to help my sister's quota when she was a teller in college. I missed the call so I dug around to see if I still had the card and went to the ATM, and I saw that $4.44 was what was in this account that I had never used. It really shook me up because I had been trying to dodge it and play it off that week . . . so what do you do when you have zero answers for a weird problem like seeing a recurring sequence of numbers everywhere and you feel like you're going crazy? Google.
And what popped up was this:
If you're thinking "Wow, all of that to remind you that you're on the right track?!" that makes two of us. But ever since then, whenever I see it, I consider it to be a little sign of reassurance encouraging me to, "Carry on boldly and without doubt."
Wondering why you're still reading this because I have yet to establish a connection to the blog? Well then, A) thanks for making it this far! You're a trooper . . . and B) the payoff is just around the corner.
I've been completely overwhelmed by / impressed with / flattered by all of the people, including ones I didn't expect, who have been so supportive of this little venture. I know it's just a simple blog, but it's something I've wanted to do for a long time since I've been doing on-the-side makeup jobs, but I never got around to it because I worried about people thinking I was superficial or not talented enough to warrant any advice-giving. (Again, one of those moments where saying it out loud sounds like such a cliche and I should've known better than to let what I wanted to do take a back seat to doubts.)
I went to check in on the traffic today just out of curiosity, and want to know what I found? The number of hits to my website:
Of course, I have to account for the fact that most of those hits were probably from me making little tweaks, changing my mind "a MILLION times" (in my best Shania Twain voice), and checking to see how the layout is shaping up, but I took it as a sign of reassurance. I know it's just a makeup blog—nothing ground-breaking or all that important in the grand scheme—but I'm interpreting it as a sign of reassurance that it's important to get over your self doubts, use your gifts, and do things that make you happy.
So in conclusion, thank you for your friendship and for being so supportive of my little creative outlet. I hope you continue to visit for more makeup tips and not so many of these diary-entry-style autobiographies. :)
Sending you positive vibes and a whoooooole lotta
for your weekend! WE SURVIVED!!